Every Child Is Already Becoming Someone: How Children's Literature Helps Shape Identity

 It's a question filled with hope and endless possibilities. Children answer with excitement—a veterinarian, a teacher, an astronaut, a firefighter—and sometimes those dreams change every week. That's part of the beauty of childhood. Young children naturally imagine a future filled with opportunity, believing they can become almost anything they dream of. Yet over the past several years, I've found myself asking a different question. Instead of focusing on what children want to be someday, what if we spent more time helping them discover who they are becoming today?

As both an educator, children's author, and doctoral candidate in Applied Learning Sciences, I've become increasingly fascinated by how children develop their sense of self. The more I study learning, the more convinced I become that identity isn't formed in one defining moment. It develops gradually through thousands of everyday experiences—conversations with family members, relationships with caring adults, moments of success and disappointment, opportunities to help others, and the stories children hear along the way. Every interaction quietly shapes how children see themselves and the world around them. That is why I believe children's literature is far more than entertainment. It becomes one of the first places where children begin discovering who they are.

Identity Begins with Belonging

Before children develop confidence, resilience, or independence, they need something even more fundamental: they need to know they belong. Children thrive when they feel accepted, valued, and understood. They need to know that their ideas matter, their questions are welcome, and their family, culture, language, and traditions have value. When children experience this sense of belonging, they become more willing to ask questions, take healthy risks, and learn from mistakes without fear of failure. Confidence grows naturally because it is rooted in acceptance rather than comparison.

One of the greatest gifts of children's literature is its ability to create that sense of belonging. Sometimes children recognize themselves within the pages of a story. They see families who look like theirs, traditions they celebrate, or feelings they have experienced but haven't yet found the words to express. Other times, they meet characters whose lives are very different from their own. Both experiences are equally important. One strengthens identity by saying, "You belong." The other nurtures empathy by reminding children that everyone has a story worth understanding. Together, these experiences help children recognize that every person has value and every voice deserves to be heard.

Stories Become Mirrors, Windows, and Sliding Glass Doors

One of the most influential ideas in children's literature comes from scholar Rudine Sims Bishop, who described books as mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors. I return to this idea often because it beautifully captures why stories matter so deeply during childhood. Some books become mirrors, allowing children to see themselves reflected in the characters, families, traditions, and experiences on the page. These stories quietly affirm a powerful message: You belong exactly as you are.

Other stories become windows, inviting children to look into lives that may be different from their own. Through these books, children develop curiosity, compassion, and respect for people whose experiences expand their understanding of the world. Then there are stories that become sliding glass doors. Rather than simply observing another person's experience, children step inside the story. They imagine what another child might be thinking, feeling, or struggling with. They begin asking themselves what they would do in a similar situation. That is where storytelling becomes transformational. Children's literature doesn't simply entertain children—it invites them to experience humanity.

Every Child Has Unique Gifts

One of the greatest lessons I've learned—both as an educator and as a grandmother—is that no two children develop in exactly the same way. Some children naturally lead conversations, while others quietly observe before speaking. Some express themselves through art, others through music, movement, building, or storytelling. Some ask endless questions, while others spend time carefully thinking before they share an idea. Every child contributes something meaningful to the world, yet many begin comparing themselves to others long before they recognize their own unique gifts.

Stories help change that narrative. Through picture books, children encounter characters with different personalities, abilities, cultures, strengths, and challenges. They begin realizing there isn't one kind of learner, one kind of leader, or one definition of success. Instead, they discover that the qualities which make them different are often the very qualities that make them remarkable. Identity grows when children understand that their worth isn't determined by comparison but by embracing who they already are.

Relationships Shape Identity

Books matter. Teachers matter. Families matter. But perhaps what matters most are the relationships surrounding those experiences. Children discover who they are through the people who believe in them. A teacher who notices their creativity. A librarian who recommends the perfect book. A parent who encourages their endless questions. A grandparent who shares family stories around the kitchen table. Each of these moments quietly communicates the same powerful message: I see you.

Feeling seen changes children. It gives them permission to become themselves fully. Research in Applied Learning Sciences continues to reinforce what many parents and educators already know intuitively—that meaningful learning happens through relationships, reflection, conversation, and shared experiences. Stories certainly help children develop literacy, but they also help develop something much deeper: self-understanding. Every encouraging word and every meaningful conversation becomes another thread woven into a child's developing sense of identity.

Practical Ways to Nurture Identity Through Stories

Parents and educators don't need complicated lesson plans to help children develop a healthy sense of identity. Often, the most meaningful conversations begin after closing the cover of a favorite book.

• Celebrate effort as much as achievement. Help children recognize qualities like kindness, perseverance, creativity, curiosity, and courage—not just accomplishments.

• Choose books that both reflect and expand children's experiences. Read stories that serve as mirrors while also opening windows into different cultures, families, and perspectives.

• Ask thoughtful questions. Instead of simply asking what happened in the story, ask children what the characters learned about themselves and how they changed.

• Notice each child's unique gifts. Every child contributes differently. Help them recognize the strengths that make them uniquely who they are.

• Share your family's stories. Family traditions, memories, and cultural experiences help children develop a stronger sense of belonging and identity.

   

As I continue writing children's books, conducting research, and spending time with young readers, I find myself returning to one simple belief: every child is already becoming someone. Our role as parents, educators, librarians, grandparents, and authors is not to decide who that person should be. Our role is to nurture the curiosity, confidence, compassion, and sense of belonging that allow children to become the very best version of themselves. Every encouraging word, every family tradition, every meaningful conversation, and every story shared together quietly shape that journey.

Perhaps that's why children's literature matters so deeply. It doesn't simply help children discover the world around them. It helps them discover themselves. And in a world that often tells children who they should become, there is something profoundly powerful about stories that gently remind them they have been growing into themselves all along.